


Latin Woes

by Kleptomaniac_Can_Opener



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-28
Updated: 2004-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-08 22:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1959006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kleptomaniac_Can_Opener/pseuds/Kleptomaniac_Can_Opener
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashes, ashes, we all fall down...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cineres, Cineres

**Author's Note:**

> The poem is 'Ring Around the Rosies' in Latin.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon! *cries*  
> 

Anulus rosarum,  
Sacculus florum,  
Cineres, Cineres,  
Decidimus.

Anulus rosarum,  
Sacculus florum,  
Cineres, Cineres,  
Decidimus.

Sometimes I wish I could be seen for myself. Just because I like to goof off, and I admit I’m about as sharp as a stick of butter, everyone assumes I’m some idiot that can’t take care of himself let alone understand anything that is remotely complicated.

If anyone ever bothered to find out they’d see I have a 5.0 and have all ready passed the graduation test. So what if I was only eleven.

I sigh and try to banish those thoughts from my head, balancing on the corroding metal beam that’s a good 6-feet above rocky terrain, singing low to myself.

Anulus rosarum,  
Sacculus florum,  
Cineres, Cineres,  
Decidimus.

It’s amazing really. Three years and they’re still clueless. Three years and they still think all I have is luck. Three years…three years and I’m tired of it all.

You’d think there would be some charm to being the youngest Pokemon Master in history. Well, there was at first, but that quickly died a swift, agonizing death of fire and brimstone.

It used to be so great…people would come from all around to challenge me. I never took any of it seriously. If I did it wouldn’t be fun. So of course everyone assumed once more that I have a huge store well of luck. That the only reason I win is because of luck. It never occurred to anyone that just maybe I knew what I was doing, that I have strategies like the best of them. Hell, I am the best of them.

Anulus rosarum,  
Sacculus florum,  
Cineres, Cineres,  
Decidimus.

I come to the end of the fence, hopping down with little care. I gaze into endless azure skies and sapphire oceans, wind whispering in my ear and teasing through my black strands. Salt stings my eyes, but I won’t blink, I don’t want to miss out on the raging beauty. Impressive waves crash against the cliff side, light reflecting rainbows off the cool surface. A Dragnair makes an awesome leap in the distance.

If I could be free like that. Free to roam where I will, not worrying about others. Free to be seen as me.

Brine splashes my face. The waves are getting rougher, a dangerous force, a deadly beauty.

It would be so easy to end it all in her arms.

Anulus rosarum,  
Sacculus florum,  
Cineres, Cineres,  
Decidimus.

My phone rings and with another sigh I answer. “Satoshi here.”  
“You have a challenger at 3pm, sir.” Her voice is cheerful. It’s fake. She doesn’t think I deserve my title, that a REAL trainer should be Pokemon Master.  
“All right.” I hang up, then on impulse I toss the piece of technology out to sea.

I hate this life.

Funny how it was my goal not long ago. I miss those days when I was still climbing up the ladder. It didn’t matter if everyone thought I won by luck, not then. Luck was part of the game, a necessary element. As you climbed higher luck was less a factor than actual skill.

I’ve never really had good luck. Didn’t have much bad luck either. It was just my luck no one believed me. Heh. That’s kinda funny.

Anulus rosarum,  
Sacculus florum,  
Cineres, Cineres,  
Decidimus.

I watch the sea toss and churn, sunlight illuminating its swirling mist. If I were to die, would anyone care? Mom would cry, but I know she would get over it. Kasumi and Takeshi would be upset, but I doubt they would cry. Hiroshi would cry from shock, maybe even Shigeru though I doubt it. I think only my Pokemon would truly care that I was gone. But I think they would be fine. Professor Okido would take good care of them; I’ve always had great trust and confidence in him.

Heavy gray clouds blot out the warm yellow sun, darkening the ocean to a sluggish green. Waves crash and the wind screams in my ears. There won’t be a storm, not yet…but there will be soon.

I plan to meet it.

Anulus rosarum,  
Sacculus florum,  
Cineres, Cineres,  
Decidimus.

Anulus rosarum,  
Sacculus florum,  
Cineres, Cineres,  
Decidimus.

A single ray of golden radiance pierces through the cloud cover. I think that’s my cue.

I jump spread-eagle, eyes on the whirling mass of dyed cotton. As I fall I can’t help but wonder if they’ll mention I knew Latin. Heh, probably not. It wouldn’t match my image. Oh well, they didn’t care to know me in life, why would they in death?

Anulus rosarum,  
Sacculus florum,  
Cineres, Cineres,  
Decidi–


	2. Desine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rain, rain, go away...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is ‘Rain, Rain, Go Away’. (I hope...my Latin is non-existent.)

Pluvia, pluvia, desine  
Veni huc alio die  
Plura parvulus opto lascivio  
Pluvia, pluvia, desine

Pluvia.  
Pluvia.

...Rain? No...sea water. My body lurches painfully as something heavy pounds my back, forcing me to expel anything left in my screaming lungs. Coughs rack through me, my throat grating like sandpaper on broken concrete, making my desperate gasps for sweet air leave a searing burn in my heaving chest.  
“Mrrr...”  
What the? I flop onto my back and regret it as a bolt of agony tears its way down my spinal cord. A wet muzzle nudges my cheek. Just opening my eyes is a chore. When I do manage that I find the Dragnair I had spotted earlier. Heh, what were the chances?

It starts to rain.

Pluvia, pluvia, desine  
Veni huc alio die  
Plura parvulus opto lascivio  
Pluvia, pluvia, desine

Storms produce some of the prettiest music you’ll ever hear. The raindrops lay out the bass beat, the wind joins in the game as cello, thunder jumps in as drums, and the lightning fancies itself as director.

I like to sit and just listen to it for hours. The lightning likes to show off to me, I think. No one’s ever seen it do half the things I’ve seen. Or maybe my retinas are fried. Who knows?

It’s all so pretty though. Why would anyone want the storm to go away?

Pluvia, pluvia, desine  
Veni huc alio die  
Plura parvulus opto lascivio  
Pluvia, pluvia, desine

That Dragnair is still here, keeping the worse of the rain off me. It doesn’t matter really, my body went numb long ago. The stinging drops feel like a soothing massage now. I could easily fall asleep if the Dragnair would just let me.

Maybe it wants to play in the rain with me?

Pluvia, pluvia, desine  
Veni huc alio die  
Plura parvulus opto lascivio  
Pluvia, pluvia, desine

My watch beeps thrice. Still working, huh? Guess it was worth the five grand.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have chucked my phone like that. Oh well. I’ve never been late to a match before so I guess they’ll catch on. I don’t think I could move to make the call anyway.

It’s getting awfully cold.

Pluvia, pluvia, desine  
Veni huc alio die  
Plura parvulus opto lascivio  
Pluvia, pluvia, desine

I must have blanked out. I don’t remember all these people getting here.

A noisy helicopter is drowning out the music. Sirens and reporters are throwing up a ruckus too. Don’t they know it’s rude to interrupt such a magnificent concert? After all, it will never be played again.

I’m strapped down to the emergency table and rolled into an ambulance. Glaring white walls muffle everything, but I can still hear it.

I can still hear the rain.

Pluvia, pluvia, desine  
Veni huc alio die  
Plura parvulus opto lascivio  
Pluvia, pluvia, desine

I sigh. The doctors and nurses rant at me to get more rest, that I can’t afford to strain myself right now. But fate saw it fit to keep me alive so I’m not going to keep that Trainer waiting longer than necessary. I know what a pain waiting is.

I suppose I should at least be grateful I’m not in the mental ward for attempting suicide. Turns out the cliff I was on broke off not long after I jumped, which is why my back hurts. They assumed I was on it at the time. I didn’t see a point in arguing.

Pluvia, pluvia, desine  
Veni huc alio die  
Plura parvulus opto lascivio  
Pluvia, pluvia, desine

It’s raining again as I’m rolled into the arena. I could have walked but the doctors insisted I stay in the wheelchair to prevent any additional stress on my spine. What a bother.

I wonder if the reporters are still spouting about my amazing luck in surviving such a horrible accident? I’ll be the God of Luck at this rate.

I hum to myself as I choose my six Pokemon. I think I’ll start off with someone different, just to see if I can throw him off balance.

I smile.

It might be fun.

Pluvia, pluvia, desine  
Veni huc alio die  
Plura parvulus opto lascivio  
Pluvia, pluvia, desine

I could almost laugh. He nearly fell over when I called Dragnair. I guess only Nurse Joy knew the rare Pokemon wanted to stay with me.

He’s a good dragon. His levels and skills need polishing but he follows orders really well. I think I’ll name him. Stormy, perhaps.

Alas, Stormy is beaten. No surprise there. I throw out a couple more low level Pokemon I want to level boost just to piss him off.

The storm reaches a climax. It knows what I’m doing next.

Pluvia, pluvia, desine  
Veni huc alio die  
Plura parvulus opto lascivio  
Pluvia, pluvia, desine

Forty-seven.

I gave him exactly forty-seven chances to win.

“How could you pass it up?” The stadium is loud with the usual cheers and chatter, the building round shape amplifying it almost painfully. There’s no way he could possibly hear me. “I gave you every chance I could think of...”

I bow my head in defeat. I begin to wonder if I do have the luck everyone accuses me of having, such good luck it works against me. “I just want someone to beat me. Why should I stay here when even I don’t want me here anymore?”

It’s silent.  
The type of silence where you know the whole world must have heard you.

Oh well. I didn’t mean to keep that a secret anyway.

Pluvia, pluvia, desine  
Veni huc alio die  
Plura parvulus opto lascivio  
Pluvia, pluvia, desine

Pluvia, pluvia, desine  
Veni huc alio die  
Plura parvulus opto lascivio  
Pluvia, pluvia, desine

Pluvia, pluvia, desine  
Veni huc alio die  
Plura parvulus opto lascivio  
Pluvia, pluvia, desi-

Oh...the rain’s stopped.


	3. Parva Stella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like a diamond in the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star’ in Latin.

Mica, mica, parva stella,  
Miror quaenam sis tam bella  
Super terra in caelo,  
Alba gemma splendido  
Mica, mica, parva stella,  
Miror quaenam sis tam bella

Mica, mica, parva stella...

Finally.  
Alone.

Alone...

It’s easy to see the stars from here. They feel so close.  
It’s like I could reach my hands up and touch them. Sometimes I wonder if they’re really balls of gas and not magical diamonds instead.

Mica, mica, parva stella,  
Miror quaenam sis tam bella

After the uproar my last match caused, I thought it prudent to get away for a while. I only let mom know. She won’t tell anyone without really good reason. And... She deserved to know after the scare I gave her. I never saw her so hysterical as the day she saw me in the hospital.

I feel selfish. It was wrong of me. I know that now.

I’m not a star in the sky; just it’s reflection on a pool of water, ripples obscuring my face.

Super terra in caelo,  
Alba gemma splendido

“Satoshi.”  
“Why are you here, Shigeru?” I keep staring over the banister I’m leaning against, gazing at the reflection of the night sky on the surface of the pond below. The two-story cabin is a summer retreat of sorts for League Champions, so very few know about it. “How’d find me?”  
“Your mom was worried. Have you watched the PokeNews today?”  
“I haven’t turned on the TV since I got here,” I admit. It must be a doozy if mom thought she had to send someone after me.

Shigeru comes to stand next to me, staring towards the horizon. It’s funny to think we used to be bitter rivals, but after Shigeru decided to be a Pokemon Researcher instead, we became pretty good friends again. “Your little surprise announcement to the world got everyone talking. Some think you need a vacation, others think you should step down. Something about the position being too stressful for a kid to handle.” I snort at the news.  
“It’s not the post that’s stressful.” I watch a shooting star streak across the face of the water.

Mica, mica, parva stella,  
Miror quaenam sis tam bella

“I hear what people say behind your back too, you know,” Shigeru says out of the blue. It surprises me. “I just didn’t think you were the type to let it get to you.”  
“It didn’t at first.” But I guess I’m not as strong as I thought. “It’s just it’s no fun being on top when everyone thinks you should be on the bottom.”  
“Who’s everyone? Not me.” Shigeru’s blue eyes stare at me hard. The intensity is powerful enough to make my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

I look away but his hand grabs my arm, making my gaze snap back to him. “What really happened? Tell me.” I flinch when he pulls me closer, parts of me are still healing from the fall. “Satoshi, answer me.” It’s rare to see Shigeru like this. It makes it impossible to lie to his face, so I make myself look out at the water again.  
“I was tired and the cliff crumbled.”  
“Satoshi!”  
“I’m tired, Shigeru.”

Mica, mica, parva stella,  
Miror quaenam sis tam bella  
Super terra in caelo

There must have been something in my voice, because he backs down with an expression I can’t describe. I don’t know how to read that kind of face. Then I see resolve take place of that strange look.

“We’re going to the beach house.”  
“Huh? What’s wrong with here?” I ask.  
“Because here is isolated. You need a real vacation with people you like. Come on.” He drags me towards the cabin.  
“Hey! You’re not the boss of me!”  
“I’m better than a boss,” he says with that trademark smirk of his. “I’m your older and bigger and infinitely wiser friend.”  
“That’s up for debate,” I grumble, annoyed at his pushiness.

But for some reason, I feel a little better.

Alba gemma splendido.

**Author's Note:**

> [Want to stay updated on my art and stories?](http://dawneastpoint.deviantart.com/journal/Check-Here-for-my-Updates-638603365)  
>  It'll be two steps because I'm not allowed to mention my personal blog on here.


End file.
